#OccupyMileHigh: Tim Tebow is the 1%

Statistically speaking, Tim Tebow is part of the 1% … of NFL quarterbacks, since 1970, to play terribly, win games and have a passer rating better than 100. Yes, folks … that’s even better than John Elway. Here’s a look at how Tebow has managed to Occupy Mile High:

For you followers of #OWS, he's also a millionaire. Just sayin'!

Jim Harbaugh’s Football Face

Now THAT, my friends, is a scary football face...

Plenty of athletes in the NFL scare the hell out of me, and not just because of how they’re built. It’s more because of their “game face,” which I lovingly call their “football face.” The Baltimore Ravens’ Ray Lewis is a prime example. His countenance as he walks onto the field strikes HD fear into the foundation of my being, so much so that I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that he eats babies and kittens as a snack on game day. You catch my drift.

That said, there are far fewer coaches who have the same frightening facial effect. Bill Belichick and Andy Reid don’t smile — ever — but that doesn’t scare me. It actually wasn’t until watching the San Fran at Detroit game yesterday that I discovered the only NFL coach with a truly frightening football face. That man is Jim Harbaugh of the 49ers. It was fitting, then, that Harbaugh would be at the center of controversy based on his frighteningly intense end-of-game handshake with Lions coach Jim Schwartz. Apparently, Harbaugh’s pat on the back had a little too much enthusiasm and the shake had a bit of umph to it, leading Schwartz to get pissed off. The two coaches bickered a little, were separated and called it a day. The sports media, however, hasn’t shut up about it.

"Good game, Schwartz. I just ate your family."

So as to not spend any more time on the story, here’s my thought on the whole thing: NOBODY SHOULD EVER MESS WITH JIM HARBAUGH ON THE FIELD OF PLAY. NOTHING IN NFL COACHING IS AS FRIGHTENING AS JIM HARBAUGH’S FOOTBALL FACE. IF I WERE TO START A DEATH METAL BAND TOMORROW, I’D CALL IT “JIM HARBAUGH’S FOOTBALL FACE.”

And on that note, I will now head over to MetLife Stadium to watch my beloved Jets. Thank you.

Some People Take Fantasy Football Too Seriously

Yes, Darth Vader...yes they do

I never participate in fantasy football. Ever. I have enough stress in my life and enough teams to worry about without having to cater to stressful teams that don’t really exist, let alone the other people who take it way too seriously. In lieu of this, I play fantasy hockey — and that’s it. However, a relatively new commercial on ESPN recently caught my eye and made me truly LOL. It also made me appreciate fantasy football a little more…and on an intergalactic level. Check it out: